#17. You can’t always blame the boy for the pungent pool of pee on the bathroom floor.
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#19. Who the hell do those Barbies think they are, looking at me like that? AT LEAST MY SCALP ISN’T…
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While most people look at retirement as a time do as little as possible, I see it as a chance…
#11: To enforce a solid three days off from all markers and paint before school picture day.
To the neighbor: Do you have some vodka and some mac and cheese I can borrow?
#2. A hug = He already misses Mom.
#7. Those backpacks will be far too heavy for at least 50 percent of your kids to actually carry.
I think the reason pets bring us so much joy is because they are like weird furry relatives that come…
#13. His reaction to you saying, “No,” would make Shakespeare give him a standing ovation.