There are plenty of celebrities who answer "Absolutely not," when asked if they'll ever have kids. Cameron Diaz, who has never been shy about avoiding the mommy track, shared additional thoughts on the subject in a new interview with Esquire magazine (the star of the new movie Sex Tape is the mag's August cover girl).
"It's so much more work to have children," the 41-year-old actress said. "To have lives besides your own that you are responsible for — I didn't take that on. That did make things easier for me. A baby — that's all day, every day for 18 years. Not having a baby might really make things easier, but that doesn't make it an easy decision."
Personally, I think they're depriving the world of the future stars that their kids could be. So since these celebs are not ever going to have kids, I've taken the liberty of supposing just what their little bundles of fame might be like. Put little George Clooney and Chelsea Handler's foul-mouthed bundle of sass together in one pre-school class and here's what you'll get.
Celebs Who Don't Want Kids
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Cameron Diaz's Kid
NAME: Cam
It's a … BOY!
Named after his Mom, no one will be quite sure who Dad is. It won't matter. This golden-haired boy will be the most popular boy in pre-school. As get gets older, PE will be his favorite subject. He'll fail math and English repeatedly, but when you're this cute you don't have to be smart.
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George Clooney's Kid
NAME: Clooney Clooney
It's a … BOY!
Since Dad's last name is basically his first name anyhow, why not just cut to the chase and name him Clooney? He'll be the most charming kid in pre-school, but he'll only be friends with the girls who are half his age.
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Chelsea Handler's Kid
NAME: Sh@t! Handler
It's a … GIRL!
Always getting into trouble for biting and pulling the other little girls' hair, Sh@t! will repeat Pre-K four times making her the oldest pre-school student alive. Of course she won't admit her real age, but all the four-year-olds really know she's 7.
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Ellen Degeneres's Kid
NAME: Lil' Buddy
It's a … GIRL!
The happiest kid in the class, Lil Buddy will also be the kid in school who can't sit still. She'll stick it out through years of school before Mom finally realizes that what her Lil Buddy really wants to do is dance.
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Ricky Gervais' Kid
NAME: Charlotte
It's a ... GIRL!
A natural critic, even in pre-school little Charlotte Gervais will know more than the teachers. And she won't be afraid to tell them. A wise-cracking practical joker, Charlotte will have a quick wit which she'll use to tell fart jokes at circle time.
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Jay Leno's Kid
NAME: Jay Leno's Kid
It's a ... BOY!
Affable and funny, Jay Leno's Kid will spend most of his time in pre-school playing with cars. In fact, he'll grow so obsessed with Matchbox cars, the teachers will threaten to take them away. Jay Leno's Kid will start to cry and threaten to quit school, only to return to school a few days later.
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Oprah Winfrey's Kid
NAME: O
It's a ... GIRL!
She'll be the school's resident peacemaker, trying to help kids work out their differences with her "10 Point Peaceful Pre-School Program" which she'll develop when she's 2.
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Kim Catrall's Kid
NAME: Kimmy
It's a ... GIRL!
Sexy Samantha from Sex And The City's daughter takes after her Mom. The class flirt, Kimmy will get in trouble for showing way too much diaper. Her teachers will suggest she branch out and make new friends. She and her three besties can be awfully cliquey.
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Janeane Garofalo 's Kid
NAME: Kid Garofalo
It's a ... BOY!
The edgy boy in school Kid will have his 3rd birthday party at a protest, which he will have organized.
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Helen Mirren's Kid
NAME: Lady
It's a ... GIRL!
She'll be the first girl to swear in pre-school. But since she'll do it with a British accent, no one will care.
