If you’re like me, every year you enter the holiday season with the best of intentions of not going totally overboard and having it turn into a 2-month long binge-fest. You go to each holiday party with a food strategy intact, deciding how many “cheats” you’ll eat or how many cocktails you’ll have in place of that yummy dessert. You’ll plan to hit the crudite first, but instead you’ll get sidetracked by the baked brie.
After years of torturing myself and lamenting my terrible willpower (or lack there of), I’m being honest this year. And while I have no plans to go up a size due to holiday gorging, I do plan to have some fun. Truth be told, there’s plenty of holiday food that isn’t worth the post-party muffin top. And there’s plenty of holiday gluttony well worth the extra spin class you’ll have to do the next day. The secret is to know the difference.
So here are the foods I’m PASSing on this holiday season and the foods to which I’ll be saying PASS MORE OVER HERE. Dig in.
1) PEACH COBBLER ON THANKSGIVING
PASS MORE OVER HERE!
Sweets aren’t really my thing, but peach cobbler is. With one “cobbler-approved” holiday per year, Thanksgiving, I’ve got one day of the year to load up. Hope the rest of my guests like pumpkin pie because the cobbler is mine. All of it.
2) MASHED POTATOES
PASS.
Sure, I like butter as much as the next gal but If that’s really what I want I’ll break out a stick and eat it directly. Isn’t that what eating mashed potatoes is? And yes potatoes are cozy and comforting, they’re just not worth it. I’m passing and saving room for..
3) STUFFING
PASS MORE OVER HERE!
Carbs, yes please! Carbs with chestnuts, and turkey gristle and other delicacies? He-llo! Warm stuffing is too good to miss. So I’m not going to.
4) FRIED POTATO PANCAKES
PASS MORE OVER HERE!
Yes, I said fried. ‘Nuff said. It’s Hannukah. On Thanksgiving. For like the first time ever! I’m going to enjoy my potato pancakes on Thanksgiving. Now pass the apple sauce!
5) CHOCOLATE GELT
PASS.
For you non-Hannukah celebrators, Hannukah gelt are those tiny foil wrapped chocolate coins kids get on Hannukah. They are great, in theory. In reality, the chocolate has probably been there since last Hannukah and it’s not worth the chub. I’ll pass and save room for the good stuff.
6) BAKED BRIE
PASS MORE OVER HERE!
Speaking of baked brie (weren’t you?). Warm, melty cheese shoved in a loaf of warm bread? Yeah, I’m in. Keep your pigs in a blanket and your other holiday hors d’ouvres. Just bake some brie and give me a fork. Or, um, er..I don’t really need the fork.
7) HOLIDAY “CHEER”
PASS MORE OVER HERE!
Let’s be clear. When I say “cheer”, I mean booze. Any holiday party worth attending has some good, bubbly holiday cheer. Some people like to pass on the booze to save room for the eats. I’m quite the opposite. I’ll find the carrots and dip if that means I can have one more glass of champs! Cheers!
8) BISCUITS AND BREAD
PASS.
Listen, I can find a time any time of the year when no one is looking and chow down on biscuits and bread. I don’t need to carb it up when I’ve got so many other fattening treats to prioritize. I’ll have a biscuit next May, or never. I want some brie.
9) CANDY CANES
PASS.
I’m not 10 years old. I don’t need to suck on a peppermint stick that may or may not give me a huge butt. I’ll leave the candy canes for the kiddos. Their big teeth haven’t grown in yet. Those cavities aren’t the end of the world.
10) EVERYTHING AT A TAIL-GATE PARTY
PASS MORE OVER!
The great thing about a tail-gate party is you could potentially eat pizza, chili, chicken wings, chips (lord chips!), dips (like 3 kinds), sub sandwiches and beer and never actually have to watch a second of football. In fact, I’d pay not to have to pay to watch football. I’d also pay to have that last wing. Delish!
