Choosing the very first vibrator — a toy that exists solely to give you pleasure — is exhilarating…and also intimidating. Sex toys come in every shape, size, and color imaginable. Even some you previously thought were unimaginable. Before you navigate the aisles for that perfect first vibe, here’s what to consider:
1. Will you be using the vibrator solo, or with a partner?
Most vibrators are multitaskers — meaning, with a bit of creativity, they can be used alone or with your lover. If you’re planning on using it when your partner is out of town or too tired for sex, choose a vibe that’s comfortable in your hands. No need to get a wrist cramp when you’re aiming for that third or fourth battery induced orgasm.
2. What’s best for me — one knob or two?
Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse, according to sex educator and author Michael Castleman; the rest depend on direct clitoral stimulation. Yet when we think about sex toys, most of us assume it’s phallic shaped. If you’re in the 75 percent, start with a vibe that focuses on clitoral stimulation like the Touch by We Vibe. If you prefer to up your chances, opt for a two-knobbed multitasker such as Fifi by Je Joue. Ok, that one has three knobs, but two of them are small.
3. What material is this vibrator made of?
Your toy will become very intimate with you, so it’s important to consider the material it’s made from. First of all, make sure your vibe is free of phthalates, a group of chemicals used to make plastics more flexible and harder to break. While the long term effects of phthalates on humans are unknown, some types of phthalates have affected the reproductive system of laboratory animals (CDC).
I highly recommend medical-grade silicone as it’s easy to clean, flexible, and quickly warms up with body heat. Leather and glass are considered more high end, but look and feel super sexy. Hard plastics are best for clitoral vibes. A good rule of thumb: the lower priced the vibe, the lower quality the material.
4. How loud is it?
Nothing ruins the mood like waking your kids up because your vibrator is louder than your electric toothbrush. An advantage to shopping in a physical store (or attending a sex toy party) is being able to hear and feel the vibrators. It’s the best way to tell if vibe is quiet enough so the apartment next door won’t know what you’re up to. Don’t trust the description on the website. No toy wants to advertise that it’s loud.
5. Is it sturdy enough to get the job done?
For the first time buyer, it’s tempting to purchase the vibe that’s delicate. However, you’ll be frustrated when you’re on the cusp of an orgasm and the toy is already at maximum speed. Purchase a vibe that’s goes just one notch stronger than you think you’d like. And definitely opt for one that has variable speeds.
6. Is it discreet? (Hint: You want the answer to this question to be YES!)
My daughter found my personal massager, and it was incredibly awkward. I’m just lucky that we didn’t have guests over and she brought it to the living room. If you’re worried about nosy people discovering your vibrator, you can purchase lipstick shaped Kandi Kisses. Or invest in a stylish lockbox to store it in.
It takes trial and error to find the best vibrator. Each woman’s body responds differently in the bedroom. No matter what you settle on for your first vibrator, you’ll have fun. Just think of it as research and development.
Photo: Getty
