Now that my 14-month-old is beginning her slow and bittersweet journey of self-weaning from breastfeeding, I sometimes miss those long afternoons (or even the late nights!) spent cluster feeding while the world went on without us outside. But my sweet nostalgia certainly hasn’t erased the very real memory of feeling powerless and bored, stuck on the couch or in a rocking chair staring into space while a tiny human (literally) sucked the life out of me for senselessly long periods of time (we’re talking hours here!). So, moms of cluster feeding infants, I remember your pain all too well.
The good news is that it’s nothing to worry about. “Cluster feeding is typically used to describe a change in feeding habits by a newborn or young infant when they shift from feeding every two to three hours, to feeding every hour or feeding in spurts for a day or so or even longer,” explains Wendy Sue Swanson, M.D., a pediatrician at Seattle Children’s and The Everett Clinic and author of Mama Doc Medicine. Some moms notice that cluster feeding happens more often at night, a time when babies are sleepy and looking for ways to self-soothe, she adds, or it may happen over the course of an entire day.
Related: Everything You Need to Know About Cluster Feeding
But, like I said, there’s only so long you can stare at your sweet baby breastfeeding…before you start to feel a little bored. A second baby’s not currently in the works for me, but time and perspective (plus plenty of trial-and-error, back in the day!) have prepared me for how to maximize that time. Or at least spend it doing something other than scrolling my Facebook feed mindlessly while saying a silent prayer that the baby would fall asleep and pull off my breast!
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How to Beat Boredom While Your New Baby Is Cluster Feeding
Meditate (You'll Thank Us, Seriously).
It sounds crazy, but you could use it! Before having a baby, yoga was the most important part of my life. After years spent doing the rounds on practically every prescription anxiety medicine on the market, it was the first thing that truly helped me find inner peace. I had to abstain from exercise for eight weeks after my C-section, and even once I got the doc's okay, I had a cluster-feeding infant on my hands and next to no childcare options. As much as I missed my time on the mat, I carved out time when she was occupied nursing and I was stuck on the couch to close my eyes and rest my soul. These mini-meditation sessions helped my mommy-anxiety and made me feel instantly calmer and empowered. Check out Chopra.com for some tips on getting started.Photo: Getty
Read all the books you've been dying to read.
I bet you never thought you would have time to actually sit around and read with a newborn. Here's the truth: As soon as that little cluster feeder of yours is nursing less and moving more, your bookworm days will officially be on pause. Make the most of the opportunity now by putting on some soft music and getting into a book you never thought you'd get a chance to read this year. But do yourself a favor and reach for a novel, memoir, or anything that's not baby-related. Stressing yourself out with yet another parenting book is definitely not going to make the cluster sesh go any faster.Photo: Getty
Make a 'Marriage Bucket List'
When my hubby returned to work after his awesome two-week paternity leave, I basically felt like I never saw him. Between all of those endless feedings and my desperate, permeating need to sleep whenever I possibly could, there was not a lot of "couple time." Even though we fought over little things and both felt the pressure and stress of our shifting dynamic post-baby, it helped me to remember him as the love of my life, and not just the guy who forgot to take the trash out that morning. I started a bucket list for us , covering everything from extravagant to simple, romantic to adventurous. Most of it had nothing to do with our daughter, and was a fun way to daydream about what our relationship could be -- would be -- again. We even knocked off a couple list items in her first year of life, which was great!
Get Pin-spired.
A lot of social media, while fun, can start feeling like a waste of time after a while. Once you tire of your Instagram feed (on which every other baby seems to be doing things other than cluster-feeding), consider starting or revamping your Pinterest account. Creative and practical types alike can glean so much from their Pinterest activity. Whether you're planning to redesign the kitchen in a few months (when the kid is no longer cluster-feeding all the time!), perusing for easy slow-cooker meal ideas (who has time to cook with a newborn?), or daydreaming about cute outfits and hairstyles, there's so much fun to be had in this land of inspiration. I circle back to mine nightly even now, but it definitely got a lot more love when I had a cluster-feeder on my hands.Photo: Pinterest
Watch Netflix and chill.
Now that my former infant is running around, climbing on furniture, and smearing lotion all over the bathroom floor, there are times when I wish I could just cuddle up with her and binge-watch some TV. Here's the thing: there will be plenty of time to think about educational activities, vocabulary-building songs, and so on, later. Once I convinced myself to calm down and soak in the moment a bit, I actually enjoyed getting little "breaks" from reality while my daughter nursed and I re-watched old episodes of my favorite reality trash. Consider this period a pause from "real life" -- a draining, sometimes stressful, and certainly exhausting pause, but an opportunity to force yourself to slow down, just for a while. Photo: Getty
Apply nail decals.
Technically, this is a two-handed operation. But unlike traditional polish, it's not wet, so if you do need to stop suddenly, you're fine. I found that I could prop my daughter up securely on pillows under me so she could nurse easily, and then I'd treat myself to a slow-going at-home manicure with a bit of patience. Since you're stuck there anyway, you may as well make the most of it and do a little beauty upkeep. I'm partial to the Sally Hansen nail strips -- you can get a ton of different varieties on Amazon.Photo: Amazon
E-mail friends you haven't chatted with in a while.
Having a newborn can be hectic and time-consuming, and I lost touch with a lot of friends and former colleagues that I had enjoyed keeping up with before. You might not have two free hands and heaps of time to sit down and pen a "real" letter these days, but most mamas find it easy enough to type on their phones while nursing a babe. Draft a list the people you'd like to reach out to. One by one, email them a little "hello" -- you might be surprised at how much their replies will brighten the days ahead. (Note: It's a lot easier to do this on your phone, though I did make some one-handed attempts on the computer as shown, and they went okay, too!).Photo: borntobeabride.com
Knit something fun.
Whether it's a hat and booties for your little bundle or an awesome scarf for yourself, this is a perfect time to get crafty. I had all these dreams of creating beautiful things for my daughter when I was pregnant, but the nesting priorities won out. Once I had extra time to craft with her on the boob, I realized those cluster sessions were actually great for our future. If your stuff is really cute, you could even sell some on Etsy! Talk about multitasking mama.Photo: Getty
Bond with your big kid.
With so much emphasis on the newborn right now, any quiet time you can nab is a great opportunity for catching up with your bigger little. Whether you two just cuddle up with cartoons, read your favorite stories together, or have a nice, long chat, these moments will have a big impact on both of you. One of my friend's four-year-old once suggested she give Mama a hand massage -- lotion and all -- during a nursing session with the baby. Sounds good to me! Photo: Getty
Get some sun (or at least some shade).
If the weather permits, changing the scenery can make a big difference and elevate your mood. I'll never forget how freeing it was the first time I decided to sneak out of the home with my cluster-feeder on a brief break from nursing and find a park bench where I could just enjoy the moment more. I set up shop in the generous shade of a big tree and covered her with a light muslin blanket -- this simple outing was safe for her and so important for me.Photo: borntobebride.com
Order cute nursing clothes.
Girl, you did your time in the maternity stuff. Even though this is not the ideal moment to go out and try on jeans, you've earned some cute button-downs and there's no need to leave the house to get them. I very rarely wore actual nursing clothes even in the newborn days -- just a tank or bra with an easy-open top over it. Even though there is something to be said for lounging all day in your pajamas, I felt infinitely better about the world on the mornings when I would put on an actual outfit, even if that just meant fresh leggings and a draped tunic. Download the Bloomingdales and Gilt apps for one-thumb convenience.Photo: Amazon
Get a little work done.
It might not be the ideal working environment, but since you've got your phone in hand and some quiet time, you may as well clean up your work email inbox or draft some ideas for an upcoming project. (If you're able to nurse in a sling, you can have both hands free to work on your laptop, too.) I always liked to find ways to maximize my time during these feeding sessions, so I would have the opportunity later when I wasn't holding the baby to do something really exciting -- like take a shower.Photo: Getty
Plan a date night.
A few hours out on the town -- or even hanging out with friends at their house -- may seem like a distant dream right this moment, but things can change pretty quickly in Newbornland. There's no reason you can't make some plans for a fun (if brief) escape with the hubby in the weeks to come. Our first date night only lasted 45 minutes and included a very well-timed sake cocktail, but it was such an important milestone for us and I made all the plans -- from booking the sitter to finding the perfect bar within walking distance -- right on my phone while nursing the baby. Photo: Getty
Get rid of the junk in your emailbox.
Really, how many useless emails do you get every day? Most of them are shopping-related and so annoying. Especially on a tighter budget post-baby, they drove me crazy. The stress of seeing them pile up paired with the potential for important messages to get lost among them, was just too much. One day I spent a good hour of the cluster-feed using my cell phone to manually take myself off every single e-mailing list I did not want to be on. It's the kind of chore I had never made time for before, but it was totally doable while nursing the baby, and I felt so accomplished (and relieved!) when I was done.Photo: Getty