Yelling is an unfortunate instinct that does not happen out of the blue. More often than not, it is a response to certain behavior. For parents, the tendency to yell usually comes through when kids are not doing things as directed, things start spiraling out of control, or several negative happenings add up. However, when moms and dads lose their temper and yell at their children for their unruly behavior, the guilt washes over them almost instantly. Mamas, we all have been there. If you are looking for ways to control your yelling, here are some tips that might help you avoid this behavior and develop a stronger bond with your kids.
Identify your triggers
We are sure you don’t yell at your kiddos throughout the day. It might happen when your little ones don’t stop screaming, throwing things, hitting you, etc. And that’s exactly the trigger point that you need to be aware of. Triggers vary from parent to parent. Some might stay calm when their kids throw stuff around the house. However, they end up yelling when children scribble on the walls. So, first, try to identify your triggers so that you can take appropriate measures to control and avoid yelling at your kids.
Warn your kids when you are running out of patience
Sometimes, warning your kiddos can do the trick. If you can no longer handle your children shouting at the top of their voices or disobeying you, give them a stern warning. You can tell them, “Your behavior is making me a little annoyed. I don’t want to yell at you. So, if you could please stop shouting, that would be great for everyone.”
Warnings can also help kids prepare mentally for what’s coming. For instance, if your little ones insist on playing some more although it is their bedtime, instead of yelling at them, let them know that they have five more minutes. After that, they should head straight to bed. This will get the work done without you having to yell at your children.
Distract yourself when things don’t go as per your plan
Whenever you feel the urge to yell at your kids, redirect your energy and distract your mind as quickly as possible to control yourself. Watch a funny video, stamp on something to physically vent your frustration, sing one of your favorite songs, go for a walk, or do something that brings you peace. Anything that distracts you works perfectly fine in this situation. In the meantime, your partner can handle the children. You can also repeat to yourself phrases like “You got this,” “This shall pass,” etc. They will help you maintain your calm. Once you have identified your triggers, distract yourself as soon as possible with these tips to control and avoid yelling at your kids.
Hug your child and talk it out when they act out
When your little ones misbehave, instead of losing it, wrap your arms around them and have a heart-to-heart talk with them. This might not be easy at first, as you might be simultaneously controlling yourself from yelling at your kids. However, take a deep breath, hug them, and tell them that you understand their frustration. Let them know that you are willing to talk about it, provided they behave themselves. Usually, this instantly calms children. This move can help you learn their triggers as well, making it easier for you to handle their tantrums.
Other than following these tips to control and avoid yelling at kids, practice mindfulness, take some time out for yourself and talk to your kids about your triggers when they are calm. However, most importantly, do say sorry and explain yourself if you feel you yelled at your child unjustly. Apologizing will heal them and you as well. Moreover, your parent-child bond will only get stronger when you say sorry.
Yelling at children is never the solution for any situation. It will almost always backfire. However, you can easily break this pattern by putting in some effort. So, try these tips and tricks the next time you have the urge to yell at your kids and notice your irritation disappear within minutes.
