Every parent wants their kid to be obedient. And by obedience, we mean the kids listening to your instructions or requests immediately without having to repeat them an umpteenth number of times or threatening punishment.
However, more often than not, you ask them to do something, and your kids don’t listen, leading to heated arguments or unwanted scolding (while we all have been there, none of us want to be there). There are ways to raise obedient kids; you just need to be privy to these handy tips!
1. Talk about the importance of being obedient
Before you start ordering your children around, you must first talk to them about the importance of obedience. It would be best to educate them on why obedience is a good thing. You can’t expect kids to understand its significance without you walking them through it.
Also, you need to understand why your kid is not listening to you. Is it because they don’t understand your instructions? Do they not like following orders in front of their friends? Figuring out the answer to these would help you raise obedient individuals.
So, sit down with them, talk to them, understand the reason for their behavior, solve the issue together, and set some ground rules for you and your kid to make things easier. Open communication will help you both in the long run (this holds for several aspects of parenting).
2. Talk politely
How you talk to your kids is how they will respond to you. So, be gentle and polite while talking to them. We understand that when kids misbehave, politeness goes out the window, and you find yourself yelling and nagging.
However, here is the thing, no matter how difficult the situation is, think twice before reacting to it negatively. Nothing good will come from yelling at the kids. It will not make them obedient individuals, contrary to popular belief. In fact, it might make them disrespectful towards you.
So, take deep breaths, leave the place (if you can’t control your outburst), and return when your child’s mood swings have calmed down. Then, you can talk to them politely and show them how to put forward their demands and thoughts. Teach them that healthy conversation involves asking questions politely and discussing them with others.
3. Provide them with alternatives
We, as parents, love to use words like “no” and “don’t” with kids. However, instead of telling them what they can’t do, tell your kiddos what they can do. For instance, if you want to limit screen time, instead of saying, “No more television/iPad,” try suggesting alternate activities like playing with puzzles, coloring books, baking with you, etc.
You can even ask for suggestions from your child to better understand what they want to do. This will ensure that they adhere to your rules with fewer complaints. Moreover, kids are more likely to be obedient when they know some fun alternatives.
4. Ask your child to acknowledge instructions
Always encourage your child to acknowledge your instructions using statements such as “Yes, mom,” “On it, mom,” etc. This will ensure that your child understands the task and will be done on time. It also lets you know that they heard your request and weren’t too engrossed with whatever they were doing (because that happens more often than we would like to admit).
However, don’t repeat yourself after every few minutes to check whether the task is done. It will build a habit that it’s perfectly fine not to do it when you request something once. Just ask follow-up questions, like “Has it been done?” “Did you finish the work?” etc. Also, don’t forget to thank them for obeying you. This will make the kids feel acknowledged and motivate them to listen to you.
Coming from a fellow mom, trying to raise obedient kids can be tiring and frustrating sometimes. However, change doesn’t happen overnight. You have to make an effort constantly. Follow these tips, and you will be a proud mom of an obedient kid in no time!
