In today’s fast-evolving world, parents fear their child may be left behind. As a result, they put unnecessary pressure on their kids to excel in academics, extracurricular activities, and more. This rush to make their kids jack of all trades makes little ones grow up too quickly, whether it be socially, emotionally, or academically. This is a widespread problem that is catching up with many these days. Although seeing their child get to learn everything makes parents happy, in reality, it’s not a good thing for the littles. It leads to a stress disorder known as hurried child syndrome. Want to know more about hurried child syndrome and its symptoms? Here’s everything you will need to learn to avoid making your kiddo go through the same.
What is ‘hurried child syndrome’?
The term ‘hurried child syndrome’ was first coined by the U.S.-based child psychologist and author David Elkind, PhD, in the 1980s. In his book, “The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast, Too Soon,” he describes the term as “a set of stress-linked behaviors, which result when a child is expected by his (her) parents to perform well beyond his or her level of mental, social or emotional capabilities. Parents overschedule their children’s lives, push them hard for academic success, and expect them to behave and react as miniature adults.”
As per Dr. David Elkind, three major dynamics are the cause of hurried child syndrome. Namely, parents, schools, and the media play a significant role. By expecting or imposing too much too soon, parents force their kids to grow up quickly. They treat them or expect them to behave as mini-adults. Parents fail to understand the level of knowledge, understanding, grasping power, and perception of their little ones as per their age. Parents with kids suffering from hurried child syndrome usually do this to either reduce their parental anxiety or due to underlying guilt.
For instance, parents pushing their kiddos to read books, do ballet, learn algebra, etc., instead of letting their kids play with their friends and enjoy their childhood, can lead to hurried child syndrome. This phenomenon is more common among single parents or working parents, who want their children to be “super kids.”
Similarly, schools ignore the real needs of children and shove a packed curriculum on them, which can lead to hurried child syndrome. They pay little attention to the age of the little ones, their learning capacity, or what they are capable of. Finishing the course somehow, and clearing the exams ultimately leads to ‘hurrying’ in kids. Even the media neglects the age of children and feeds them with unwanted or too much information (for their age), which ultimately leads to hurried child syndrome.
Why is ‘hurried child syndrome’ trending’?
Due to the highly competitive scenario in academics and other activities, parents fear that their children are missing out. This makes them push or rush their children from an early age for a successful future.
Usually, parents’ want for their littles to do better doesn’t come from a bad place. Most of the time, they simply want to give their kids the best of everything. However, they end up signing their children up for a bunch of classes, thus overburdening their kiddos. Sometimes, parents have unfulfilled dreams and they pin their hopes on their kids to fulfill those. This adds more pressure on their children. Parents forget that their little one is merely a child. They should learn and explore at their own pace and as per their interest.
For example, if a mom wanted to be a dancer and never had an opportunity to attend classes, she might sign her children up for dance classes to ensure they have what she couldn’t. However, this ends up overburdening the kids, especially if they are already attending classes for hobbies of their choice. This eventually leads to physical and mental exhaustion and kids miss out on the joys of childhood.
Overall, to make kids excel and be on par with everyone else, parents rush them, making them lose their innocence and fascination at an early age. These children turn out to be more mature than their age. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but can suck the joy out of being young and inquisitive.
This kind of long-term stress can have a devastating impact on their mental health, physical health, and even brain development. It also makes for a pretty miserable childhood. Depression, anxiety, fear of failure, difficulty in socializing, being stressed and so on are some of the psychological impacts that hurried child syndrome might have on your kid.
So, to avoid all this, don’t rush your child. You don’t have to compete with everyone. Your kid’s mental and physical well-being should be your utmost priority as a parent. Letting your child learn at their pace, giving them ample time to play, not forcing your dreams on them, truly understanding them, letting them learn age-appropriate things, limiting their extracurricular activities, ensuring they get good sleep, being flexible with their routines and letting them be just kids, is what every parent should strive for.
What are the symptoms and warning signs of ‘hurried child syndrome’?
Parents might be pushing their kids without realizing its impact on them. So, if you notice any of these symptoms and warning signs, your little one might be facing hurried child syndrome.
Kids with hurried child syndrome have increased levels of stress and anxiety
When a child feels overwhelmed with expectations and responsibilities, they feel emotionally drained. This leads to unwanted stress, depression, anxiety, and fatigue. Being irritable all the time and avoiding proper conversation with parents is also a sign of hurried child syndrome. In extreme cases, kids might end up hiding things, lying, and partaking in substance abuse.
Absence of playtime from their schedule is a common occurrence of kids suffering from hurried child syndrome
Since little ones are constantly joining classes to learn different activities, they barely have time to play on their own or even with friends. While many might think the loss of playtime will not affect their child, playtime helps them in many ways. From enhancing their creativity and attention span to developing their fine motor skills and cognitive thinking, playtime plays a vital role in your child’s overall development.
Kids with hurried child syndrome may have poor self-esteem
Since kids are constantly being monitored and pressured by their parents, they eventually develop poor self-esteem. They also lose confidence and find it difficult to make decisions by themselves. Moreover, knowing that their parents might not pay heed to their requests or are easily disappointed, children might limit their interactions with their parents.
Kids suffering from hurried child syndrome may have poor attention span
Playtime is a great way to help kids develop attention span and memory. However, doing too many activities that are not fit for their age leads to several issues. They might not only have difficulty understanding things but might also develop a poor attention span. It mostly happens when the activity does not interest them or there are too many things to learn. This makes it difficult for the child to focus on one thing at a time.
Other than these, loss of sleep, confusion, excessive worrying, frequent tummy aches or headaches (especially before the activities), and hyperactivity are also a few of the symptoms of hurried child syndrome.
If you spot any of these hurried child syndrome symptoms with your little one, it’s time to take things slow. They are not missing out on anything except their precious childhood. One can continue learning new things throughout their lives. However, once your kids miss their childhood days, they can’t relive it. Moreover, you are also missing the opportunity to bond with your littles. Before you know it, they will be leaving for college and you will suffering from empty nest syndrome.
So, slow down, and pause to spend quality time with your kids. See them jumping about, running and just being happy overall as littles should be. Do not rush them to grow up, as you too will miss them being young and naive.
